“Happiness is… having too many best friends”. Almost three years ago, I wrote these words on six cotton bags, one for each of my friends. I meant it from the bottom of my heart. And I still do, because I consider my friends to be one of the greatest treasures in my life. When I moved to Rome for the first time over five years ago, I gave a big farewell dinner for no less than forty (!) friends – all girls – from all phases of my life. And of all those girls, six of them are even more special. Together, we have been a close-knit group for years that can never be seperated.
When people ask me what it’s like to live abroad and whether I don’t miss home very much, my answer is: the Netherlands in itself – and its typically Dutch things – I don’t really miss
So, when people ask me what it’s like to live abroad and whether I don’t miss home very much, my answer is: the Netherlands in itself – and its typically Dutch things – I don’t really miss. In fact, when I am there, I always try to continue the Italian way of life as much as possible. But I do miss the people. My family and friends and how natural it is to spontaneously and completely unannounced drop by for a cup of coffee (because, thank goodness, that oh-so Dutch habit of having to schedule a coffee appointment a week in advance is completely alien to all my friends).
Fortunately, there is such a thing as a smartphone and hardly a day goes by that we don’t get a picture of the little one, which is of course received with an endless stream of “aahs” and “oohs” of his five ‘aunties’
But living 1200 kilometres away – and I’m not even the furthest away as one of us has been living in Vietnam for years – means that you cannot always be with them. At the special moments in life. Like today. It’s one of my friends’ birthday, and since we were all born in the wonderful year 1991, it means that all six of us will reach the memorable and special age of thirty this year. Trenta. An age that apparently also comes with a new phase, because at the beginning of this month one of us became a mamma for the very first time. Another very special moment that I unfortunately missed. Physically, at least. Because fortunately, there is such a thing as a smartphone and hardly a day goes by that we don’t get a picture of the little one, which is of course received with an endless stream of “aahs” and “oohs” of his five ‘aunties’. By now, we also know that a remote baby shower, that three of us attended via a live connection, goes surprisingly well. Thanks to the brilliant positioning of the laptop and a friendship that bridges every distance, it seemed as if we were really sitting at that blue-decorated table in Roermond, instead of being in Rome, Ho Chi Minh and Rotterdam.
It is even more special to hear from them how natural it feels to them that I live here. To see the pride in their eyes when they hear me speak Italian. To sleep in a one-meter-forty bed with the three of us all weekend and to endlessly drink wine in a narrow street in Trastevere
And when my friends come to visit me, it means a whole lot of fun. That’s the advantage of a long-distance friendship: when you finally do get together, you are together for a whole weekend. Having breakfast, lunch and dinner to then sleep over and doing it all over again the next day. Weekends like this are usually among the best ones of the year. It is a very precious thing to have your friends from back home to become part of your new life abroad. Of my life in my new hometown, Rome. It is even more special to hear from them – the girls who have known me since childhood – how natural it feels to them that I live here. To see the pride in their eyes when they hear me speak Italian. To sleep in a one-meter-forty bed with the three of us all weekend and to endlessly drink wine in a narrow street in Trastevere. At moments like these, time seems to have stood still and we are once again those sassy fifteen-year-old girls.
With your own girl gang far away, you are basically forced to find new friends. And I am more than grateful to be able to say that I always amply succeed in doing so
At the same time, living abroad brings about beautiful new connections and friendships. Because with your own girl gang far away, you are basically forced to find new friends. And I am more than grateful to be able to say that I always amply succeed in doing so. Girls from all over the world who remind me of my friends back home at the same time. And I, in turn, remind them of their friends from back home. So, when the time finally comes that the coronavirus no longer limits our lives so much, I am sure I will have no trouble filling up a very, very, very long table with all beautiful, young women. Friends from every stage of my life, and this time – more than five years later – also from those stages of life in which that beautiful Italian language has been predominating.
Ah, che bello!