#15 That’s Amore (English)

When you reverse the letters of ROMA, it says AMOR. Literally: love. A disguised message the ancient Romans wanted to pass onto us? In any case did that possible message not stay unheard, as many Italians today still plunge into love with soul and bliss. The Italian men are known for conquering their potential sweetheart with passion and dedication, and they surely don’t shy away from a little romance, something the more North-European men have not proven to be experts of. 

Anyone who has ever been to Rome has undoubtedly felt it: l’amore

When speaking about relationships, you also have complicated relationships. A good example is the relationship between Italy and France. There are a lot of things in which both try to be world leaders and that rivalry makes for a battle on a daily basis: wine, high-end fashion labels, cheese, spectacular nature, the best pasticceria, the most beautiful language, history, but yes, also the city of love. Paris has had this title for decades already of course, but anyone who has ever been to Rome has undoubtedly felt it: l’amore. A certain – indefinable – atmosphere, which you don’t even find in other Italian cities. The many couples strolling hand-in-hand, the Italian waiters effortlessly complimenting women, and crossing through Rome on a scooter together with your sweetheart, both your hair waving in the wind. All these things are the result of what I believe to be created by two elements in particular: the Roman light and the Roman sky. Sounds crazy? Maybe! But in Rome, love is literally in the air. 

It was exactly this light that made me feel like I was coming home again when I returned to Rome this past October. The one thing I had missed the most

Because of the wideness of Rome – extended over seven hills – music is carried through the air for miles and miles. The voices of the street musicians who usually sing songs that blend in perfectly with the languid pace of the city and the beautiful sounds of cello’s and acoustic guitars resonate against the ancient buildings without ever becoming noisy. The acoustics in Rome are perfect. While I was sitting on a square in front of the Pantheon in November with a friend, I pointed this out to him. Look how many people are here on this square right now, but is it noisy? Not at all. And then there’s the light. Because of Rome’s unique location in the hills, something magical happens every sunset. The light reflects on the hundreds of squares, marble fountains and terracotta buildings, enveloping the whole city in a pink, romantic glow. It was exactly this light that made me feel like I was coming home again when I returned to Rome this past October. The one thing I had missed the most. Not the delicious pasta, good caffè or creamy gelato, but the light. Walking through the streets of Rome, you can feel the history. Millions of love stories that have taken place in exactly those streets and on those corners that you still cross today.

And while the carabinieri were giving him a probably pretty expensive fine, the adolescent could count on loud cheering and clapping from his audience. Because in Rome, love is always above the law

When you’ve lived here for a while, you won’t doubt it anymore. Rome is the city of love. The graffiti, being illegally sprayed in the depths of night, are usually declarations of love rather than slogans for the local football team. The municipal cleaning service has a full-time job in removing all those love letters from the monuments every morning. Some time ago, after sunset, I was inVilla Borghese, at the ridiculously beautiful viewpoint over Piazza del Popolo. It turned out to be a very romantic place, because I witnessed with pleasure the efforts of an adolescent who, down on the paving stones, painted in life-size letters “Sei piu bella delle cupole di Roma”, translated: “You are more beautiful than the domes of Rome”. Quite a compliment, if you’d ask me. Unfortunately for this unlucky boy, he was not quick enough in delivering his love message. He still had to add her name when the carabinieri caught him red-handed. According to bystanders, who – just like me – had been watching in amusement from above, this made the whole spectacle even more romantic. The more dramatic. Because now the lucky lady would never find out that the message was addressed to her. And while the carabinieri were giving him a probably pretty expensive fine, the adolescent could count on loud cheering and clapping from his audience. Because in Rome, love is always above the law.

If you throw another coin into the fountain on your third visit, you will marry a Roman

But even if you haven’t found love yet, Rome is the right place to go to. Undoubtedly you’ve seen photos of the hundreds of tourists throwing a coin over their shoulder in the Trevi Fountain. And they have a very good reason for doing so. Legend has it that anyone who throws a coin in probably the most famous fountain in the world will return to Rome. Once that first wish has come true, you may throw another coin in the fountain on your second visit. This second coin will ensure that you will find love in the eternal city. If you throw another coin into the fountain on your third visit, you will marry a Roman.

But the fact that here in Italy, the day of love is called SAN Valentino made me suspect that there might be a much older – and holier – origin to the feast. My curiosity was aroused, so I undertook a little research

The reason for all these stories about love is of course the fact that it was Valentine’s Day last Friday. I’ve read in the news that the number of people who actually do something for Valentine’s Day is decreasing a lot. Often it is dismissed as a rather commercial feast that has reached Europe following a very American tradition. But the fact that here in Italy, the day of love is called SAN Valentino made me suspect that there might be a much older – and holier – origin to the feast. My curiosity was aroused, so I undertook a little research.

Because of course, there are always cynical voices claiming that Italian men are unfaithful and that they would make a declaration of love to just about every beautiful lady, so that you don’t have to feel special at all as a woman

Very quickly, it became clear to me that – despite a lot of vague explanations and divergent details – two possible theories could be distinguished. And guess it or not, but both theories traced back to ancient Roma. The first theory tells the story of San Valentino, a priest who lived in the third century and was canonized later. The reigning emperor in the Roman Empire had forbidden all young men to marry, because he thought that unmarried men would be better soldiers being more willing to give their lives on the battlefield. Priest Valentino didn’t agree, and very secretly he married the young couples anyway. When the emperor found out about it, his death warrant was signed. Right before his execution on 14 February 269, Valentino performed a miracle: he made the blind daughter of his guard being able to see again and left her a short note. It is said that this was the very first written Valentine’s wish. The second theory turned out to be a lot less romantic and had me chuckle. This story says that Valentine’s Day descends from an old Roman feast – called Lupercalia– that was celebrated on the 14^thof February. The feast began with the ritual slaughter of a dog and two goats, after which belts were made from the goatskin. Next, the young, male Romans went outside completely naked and while running around the streets of ancient Rome, they tried to hit the hordes of over-excited women who had come out to see them with the belts. Every woman they hit, would spontaneously become pregnant. Right, so much for that all-consuming – I give my life for that one woman – love. For the sake of the image of the modern Italian man, we’ll better forget about this second theory immediately. Because of course, there are always cynical voices claiming that Italian men are unfaithful and that they would make a declaration of love to just about every beautiful lady, so that you don’t have to feel special at all as a woman. And admittedly, when I’m asked on a date for the fifth time in a week already– whether it’s by the checkout clerk in the supermarket or a casual passer-by who comes to rest next to me on the edge of the fountain – I sometimes start to suspect the same.

Before I knew it, the salesman approached me with his arms wide open and a loud “Girl from the Netherlands! You have returned!” My mouth literally fell open, I couldn’t believe it!

Until last Saturday. I was doing some shopping on the Via del Corso, Rome’s biggest shopping street that gets thousands and thousands of visitors every day. Carelessly I entered a shoe store and as I stepped inside a vague thought crossed my mind: ‘Hey, wasn’t this that one store?’ Before I knew it, the salesman approached me with his arms wide open and a loud “Girl from the Netherlands! You have returned!” My mouth literally fell open, I couldn’t believe it! In the summer of 2016 (!) I had bought a pair of sandals in this shop, where this man had very kindly assisted me. Unfortunately, they broke after just a few days (maybe I shouldn’t have run into the sea while wearing them at night in Puglia, but of course they didn’t need to find out about that little detail), and I went back to the shop. The same nice salesman swapped them without hesitation for a brand new pair and after a little chat he added with a big smile that he wanted to take me out on a date. With the same big smile I thanked him but turned down his offer anyway and left. Without knowing his name, without having exchanged numbers. Only with the promise that I would step by again when I would be around. And now, more than three-and-a-half years later, he not only remembered me, but also pretended to be on the look out for me for all those years. So whatever those cynical souls may say about Italian men, for me no doubt exists anymore. Roma is the one, real city of love.