My first full week back in Rome is already over. It’s always so nice to see my friends again. From drinking an espresso martini in the chic lounge of the Hoxton hotel on Saturday night to accompanying a friend to the playground with her three little girls, and from a homecooked lunch at my friend Antonio’s – whose house is simply stunning – to an aperitivowith a friend I had only met once before. And then when I’m home, my friends from the Netherlands regularly give me a call so we can continue our everlasting conversations, totally undisturbed and hardly even noticing that there’s a distance of 1,500 kilometres separating us once again.
When I decided to move to Italy, it was not because I was running away from something, or because I wanted to leave the Netherlands no matter what
I believe this is how it will always be. When I decided to move to Italy, it was not because I was running away from something, or because I wanted to leave the Netherlands no matter what. Of course, at the time I found the idea of living in Italy a lot more attractive than living in the Netherlands, but the truth is: I didn’t lack anything, nor was I on some kind of soul-searching mission to find myself again. In fact, it was very simple: I gave in to a very strong urge to move back to Rome, the city where I had had the time of my life three years earlier.
I wanted both from the start. A busy social life in both places. Being able to chitchat with friends about anything and everything in Dutch ánd Italian
And even though moving abroad automatically means you have to give up on some things – you simply cannot attend every birthday you’d want to, or pay a spontaneous visit to your parents – I wanted both from the start. A busy social life in both places. Being able to chitchat with friends about anything and everything in Dutch ánd Italian, and being able to make that switch effortlessly. Jumping on a plane to surprise my father for his birthday, and my best friend for her baby shower. And more importantly: I have always believed it could be done.
Is it because I don’t dare to really choose?
But that doesn’t mean that it can’t also be confusing from time to time. Because, of course, when you’ve just had an incredible time somewhere, it’s normal to have mixed feelings about having to leave again. For the past three years, I have felt a slight of regret about leaving in December, one of the most enjoyable times of the year in which Rome resembles the backdrop of a heart-warming Christmas film full of cliches. And when I’ve just had the time of my life with my friends in the Netherlands, I sometimes wonder why I don’t just stay and be with them all the time. Is it because I don’t dare to really choose?
It’s a question that I’ve been investigating this past week
It’s a question that I’ve been investigating this past week. I took an online course that is all about discovering what your ideal life looks like. What makes you happy, why do you want the things you want and how can you achieve them? What goals do you need to set in order to live your dream life? And how can you learn to trust your intuition even more? With the help of all kinds of exercises, you dive deeper and deeper into this. One of these exercises was to evaluate your personal basic needs, as they are very decisive for the choices you make in life. Two of these needs are security and variety. And even though they are opposites, to some extent we all need both security and variety. You have to see it as a scale on which you find yourself at a certain point. I didn’t have to think too long about where I personally lean towards.
As long as I follow my heart, I will always end up in a place where the table is set for no less than twenty-five people, where there’s music and where there are people dancing and celebrating life
Because if I dare to listen to what I truly want in life, I realise that I would consider it my ideal situation to also spend a week or something in the Netherlands each month. I’ve always felt like that, but in the past, I could sometimes dismiss that feeling as not being able to fully commit to my Italian life. But now I know that I simply need a lot of variety. Lots of social stimuli, because they give me tons of energy. An agenda full of parties, coffee dates, birthdays and events. Because as long as I follow my heart, I will always end up in a place where the table is set for no less than twenty-five people, where there’s music and where there are people dancing and celebrating life. No matter if it’s in Italy or the Netherlands.
‘Two of these needs are security and variety. And even though they are opposites, to some extent we all need both security and variety. You have to see it as a scale on which you find yourself at a certain point. I didn’t have to think too long about where I personally lean towards.’
Spot on amiga! Happy you are finding what you want and how you want it!