Happy New Year! Buon anno nuovo! No doubt it will sound different when we’ll say this Thursday night, or actually Friday when the day will only be a few minutes old. This year, the message will come from deep within us and it will be spoken with more emphasis. Wishing the other a healthy New Year has suddenly taken on a whole new meaning. Because, dear goodness 2020, you had quite some surprises in store for us.
When last year, I wrote in my New Year’s blog that the Roaring Twenties had begun, I was not entirely wrong
Let us start by saying that for literally nobody in this world the year has turned out the way we imagined it exactly one year ago, on the 31st of December 2019. You know, when we were still enthusiastically hugging each other at midnight. When last year, I wrote in my New Year’s blog that the Roaring Twenties had begun, I was not entirely wrong. After all, roaring is what you could call 2020. However, no Great Gatsby-like scenes from a century ago with a lot of glamour, extravagant celebrations, pearl necklaces and feathers in our hair but instead jogging suits, bird’s nests of hairstyles with showing roots due to the fact hairdressers were shut and onesies so feared by fashion connoisseurs. The phenomenon of lockdowns and working from home we all got so familiar with did not make our lives any more glamorous.
And so, in between all the silly jokes, horrific karaoke singing and hilarious quiz questions, we have shared all of our highs and lows. We’ve expressed our greatest dreams and desires, but also our deepest doubts and worries
But has the new decade really kicked off with no glamour at all? And what about New Year’s Eve? It’s the ultimate occasion to bring out that tuxedo or evening dress. For more than ten years already, I’ve been celebrating New Year’s Eve with a group of friends at a never-ending dinner – every year the last dessert is served at around half past three at night – and since a few years speeches have become a regular feature too. After each course (and it’s our tradition that there are no less than ten), it is someone’s turn to publicly look back at his or her year, and to look ahead to the year to come. And so, in between all the silly jokes, horrific karaoke singing and hilarious quiz questions, we have shared all of our highs and lows. We’ve expressed our greatest dreams and desires, but also our deepest doubts and worries. Two years ago, I said in my speech that in the year to come, 2019, I would really move back to Italy. And as with all dreams, when you say them out loud, they become tangible. It becomes real. And I kept my word, because in October of that year the gorgeous city of Rome became my home for the second time in my life.
After years of living in different places – Amsterdam, Brussels, Frankfurt, Utrecht and Naples – all I wanted was to create a stable base in Rome. To finally settle down somewhere for real and for the long term. This past year gave me exactly the opposite
So, basically 2020 was my first complete year in Rome. Well, complete… We all remember that surreal announcement by the Italian Government on that Monday night in March – the borders were closed with immediate effect – and my four-day trip to the Netherlands suddenly became a four-month stay. Isn’t it typical how life always takes its own path? After years of living in different places – Amsterdam, Brussels, Frankfurt, Utrecht and Naples – all I wanted was to create a stable base in Rome. To finally settle down somewhere for real and for the long term. This past year gave me exactly the opposite. Checking my calendar taught me I took a plane to or from Italy eight times in 2020, and I moved houses no less than four times in Rome. And although this was not exactly what I had in mind a year ago, I can now honestly say that I am grateful for how things went.
What do you do when literally everything in your life is completely insecure? When you have to make the difficult decision to give up your house 1200 kilometres away, where all your belongings are still lying around, without any prospect of when you can go back? When you worry if those friendships and relationships in Rome – which you were only just building – are strong enough to last, even if you don’t see each other for months?
Because in normal times, the life lessons I have learned this year I would not even have learned in ten years’ time. What do you do when literally everything in your life is completely insecure? When you have to make the difficult decision to give up your house 1200 kilometres away, where all your belongings are still lying around, without any prospect of when you can go back? When all the business plans you had made are put on-hold and nobody knows for how long? When you worry if those friendships and relationships in Rome – which you were only just building – are strong enough to last, even if you don’t see each other for months? Who are you really, without the identity a job gives you, and without the familiar environment which you might have found yourself surrounded by for years? In such extreme circumstances, we can safely speak of that, you are the only thing you can actually rely on. And however difficult that may be, it also ignites something wonderful. Because without the noise of everyday life and the hundreds of appointments you have to run to, you are suddenly forced to really listen to yourself. To what you like and what is important to you. What are your ambitions and what are your motives? Why do you want the things you say you want?
As hard as it was to admit, I promised myself that if I didn’t find the answers, I would return to the Netherlands
When I came back to Rome after four months and after that first lockdown, I was directly confronted with the why-question. For years I had said I wanted to move back to Italy and when I actually did so in 2019, I continued living my life without thinking too much. But last July, when I came back to a country that was no longer the same, far away from my dear family and friends with whom I had been so close during the lockdown in the Netherlands, I was faced with the question why I wanted to live in Italy again. I had to find those answers as if it was the first time, and as hard as it was to admit, I promised myself that if I didn’t find them, I would return to the Netherlands. This uncertainty lasted exactly three days. On the fourth day, I was sitting at the back of a scooter with a friend, whom I had met in January only a few weeks before the lockdown. We visited the lakes just outside Rome, drank prosecco with a spectacular view, and strolled on a market in a beautiful village in the Italian hills. On the way back to Rome, when I felt the summer breeze in my face as I was taking in the astonishing landscape, I realised I had found my answer to the ‘why’ question. Precisely thìs was my Italian why.
How quiet the waters had been in the first half of 2020, so swirling the waves were now
From then on, my life seemed to have gained momentum. How quiet the waters had been in the first half of 2020, so swirling the waves were now. I got to know amazing people all the time, wonderful opportunities presented themselves, friends and family came to visit me and I was busier than ever. I can only say that I had the time of my life last summer. When I returned to the Netherlands in September because of a surgery scheduled a while ago, I felt homesick for my Italian life. And even now, now that I am in the Netherlands for the holidays, I miss Italy. Her clear blue skies in winter, her overwhelming beauty and her cordiality. But also her chaos and shameless pedanticism. Because let’s be honest, modesty has not been an Italian invention.
This morning, on the first day that Italy went from zona rossa to zona arancione, which means people are allowed to go outside again, the whole of northern Italy woke up in a winter wonderland. Last night, more than ten centimetres of snow had fallen, from Milan to Bologna
And now this turbulent year is really coming to an end. Despite everything, I sincerely hope that you can look back on it with a grateful and happy feeling. Because do you remember what a beautiful spring we had? How we had brunch outside in the sun at Easter? How we had a nice tan after six weeks of lockdown? How fantastic that first wine tasted in your favourite restaurant when they opened again? How amazing that feeling of freedom was when things seemed almost back to normal again in summer? If there was one thing that wasn’t cancelled last year, it was the magic of life. In the craziest places, ladybirds appeared around me, my own sign of happiness, and never before had an Italian politician so many non-political fans. Yesterday he tweeted, we are talking about Prime Minister Conte of course, that it was V-Day. The vaccination has started in Italy, a hopeful and for many liberating message after a year that seemed endless at times. And this morning, on the first day that Italy went from zona rossa to zona arancione, which means people are allowed to go outside again, the whole of northern Italy woke up in a winter wonderland. Last night, more than ten centimetres of snow had fallen, from Milan to Bologna. The Italian media speak of a rarity, but can we actually still be surprised by anything in 2020?
Even though we can’t all be together, the tuxedos will be worn, just like the high heels
I don’t think so. For the first time in ten years, our New Year’s Eve with friends will be very different. But even though we can’t all be together, the tuxedos will be worn, just like the high heels. That gives a touch of magic to an evening we have all been looking forward to so much, even if it’s just symbolically. Only a few days and 2020 will officially be history. Ciao 2020, benvenuto 2021! Let’s make it a year to remember.